Death, is only the beginning...

Saturday, February 21, 2004
Heyhey cor, have a happy birthday...enjoy it k, hope you like the rabbit!

today isabel lost to marie by 4 points...nvm, sports day, Marie watch out!
today hold the isabel flag until now my fingers very pain haha...went to cut my hair...its alright but i think my fringe is too short...but its alright!
___________________________________________________________________________

My theory: Do not show anyone symapthy for none will be shown to you. Agree?

I can tolerate your whisperings behind my back
i can tolerate your teasings
but what i cannot tolerate
is your sympathy for me.
i dont need your sympathy
i can survive on my own.

________________________________________

-56 faced death at 17:20

Friday, February 20, 2004
hey...today i'm feeling better than that day....dunno why i was so down...guess life's catching up with me... hey guys, thanks for cheering me up, thanks, i really appreciate it...glad to know that i have true friends...

yesterady went to st nicks council invest...it was quite nice and all...the councillors and monitors there put up a performance which was quite well done if i may say so...clara, pau and i left school at like 0715 to make our way there. We were wearing our court shoes all the way there!!! I was walking around singapore in court shoes! I never thought that day would come haha! That was the longest time i've ever worn court shoes(5+ hours) After the giving out of the certs, there was reception. On the way to the forum(mind you the school is mega big) i had blisters on my feet. Actually, i had it before already but it got worse. Our usherers got A plaster.A! 1 plaster! haha...i had 3 blisters while pau needed 8 plasters haha! It turns out that the usherer was joan's friend...but i dunno her name, dont think she said. But she used to play netball when we went to their school at sec1(they were sec2) But anyway, we skipped the games they set up cos it was already 11+ and school ends at 1245 and our bags are in class so yeah. They gave us a souvienor(dunno how to spell) and we went back to school. I had difficulty cos the blisters were really killing me!came back to school and went for training. it was fun but had to rush home for tuition. We did the hurdles which was MEGA fun!Thats all!

Today nothing much happened.
-56 faced death at 21:09

Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Dearest tong,

you are so right...but what's life without a challenge? I consider myself in 3A a challenge...i took up the challenge knowing that 70% i will fail...however, failure will only make you stronger. 3A is just the same as any other class...just that 3A is labelled the 'top'. We're all still human though later on in the year i may forget so...thats why i need a friend like you to remind my of the world outside my books. In 3 months no,2 months, i will forget what it is like to enjoy life, i will forget what the sun is like for i would be sitting at home
and stuffing my face in books, i will forget the warmt of the sun and the warmt of friendship. I would only have the cold stares of books upon my face, just waiting to devour me. Their stares would be so piercing they would pierce my heart. But i will not feel pain, i will forget what pain is or even what love is.

You said the table and chairs cry out in pain? I am the one who is crying out in pain. I need a dash of reality or just a pinch of humanity to bring me back to the real world.

hey tong, thanks for helping me. you are that friend who can bring me back to reality you are that friend who will save me from drowning. Thanks =)

-56 faced death at 20:00

stacemydearestoldcow is not free these days.
she is trapped in her routines, suffocating
under the piles of papers and stacks of books.
never free from any struggles, never gaining
any freedom of choice, justice, equality. her
job is to polish her pens and pencils, pen knifes
and stationaries. dirty fingernails are a common
sight, no one ever has time to take care of themself
once they're in there. all they do is to work so
hard to earn themself their high saleries - a whole
string of As and Distinctions. all in all they lost
their creativity and their space to think about other
things. their whole mind is focussed on memorising
the codes and passwords leading to the hearts of
their bosses - Ms Lee, Mrs Shankar, Mrs Charoo, etc.
their brains are cursed by witches so much so that
all that comes out from their mouths are formulaes
and theories.
why stace? why? why in the world did you make
the choice to rob yourself of your life, your space,
your freedom, your happiness? why did you want to
go to such a place? a place where the four walls are
filled with tension, where punctuality is most important,
where the chairs and tables cry out loud
due to the pain when you people keep scribbling and
writing too much on them, where the people are either too
quiet in concentration or too noisy in discussion. no
one ever stops to take a look about the nice things
around. i still dont understand. why do you want to
go to such a place which will only fill your brains up
with stress and no peace. 3A - the ultimate killer.
the disastrous stress giver.
cheer up babe. you rock my world =)
-56 faced death at 19:40

Friday, February 13, 2004
havent updated the whole week, been very busy... dont think we'll make it into the next round for netball...but hey! theres alway pesta sukan to look forward to... from today onwards, i'll train hard! and i'll be in the main 7!(i'm pretty ambitious but hey! its worth a try)

k, today, i wont talk about school work cos of SOME feedback from the ppl of the board haha!

got hy a small lamb toy but it looks a bit like a monkey haha...picked it out with danica, my jelly partner!
got tong chocolates...they are very nice can the chocolates, wanted to eat them myself haha...
tong: i wanted to get you the dark chocolate but i dunno if you like cos some ppl dont like but i like haha!
but hope you enjoy the chocolate. you eat all k! muahaha!!!
got cor 11 lollys...dunno how she's gonna finish haha.
cor:next week your b-day, got you smt very cute...

i just only realised that the joseph house ppl(mainly neng, gwen, melissa and jia yi) and also agnes... they are totally lame(not physically), made me laugh a lot...and they say I'M lame...
i didnt realise that agnes is the type of ppl who laugh a lot...she laugh like d@mn funny can HAHA!
then neng everytime bully me...today she use the roll of black paper to hit me...haha

the council invest was alright...mrs suppiah said to me 'all you ppl need hairbands' then i say ok loh then i wore then i looked so retarded can...nvm, i'm gonna cut my hair next week... walk around the whole school in court shoes to show the st andrew's ppl around can die can...now my ankle like very pain...
kaiqi very nice, she helped me to take the class key...juli also very nice, she followed me all the way up to class to get my bag...then i gave her my old council badge cos she wanted it...the new badge sucks can, its so big...

i talked to juli...she and i had the same agreement on valentine's day which is : we dislike it cos like you dunno what to get ppl then you'll feel very 'pai sei' if ppl give you stuff and you never give back...juli actually very nice to talk to, like hy and tong...some times when ppl are nice to talk to its very easy to let things out...

i guess there's nothing else to say...thanks to valery and burke for the compliment on my blog...actually its neng who did it haha!
xt: XT!!!!!!! I'm not a nerd hahaha! you admitted to being a nerd rite? you took the nerd pledge haha!
tong: why you feeling down? you can always talk to me k...
hy: dont bully be k! next time i'll look where i'm going when i check the time...

-56 faced death at 19:59

Sunday, February 08, 2004
i was too lazy to update yesterday...the tomato soup turned out alright but i didnt add enough salt haha...
too my top braces out yesterday...looks nice but i have to wear rubber band...i scared it snap haha!
Spend the whole afternoon in school doing the council board...after that went to tiong with jean and ate long johns. Still dunno what to get ppl for v day...i'm running out of time...so xianing...have to study...

Today nothing much happened...went to church and was totally bored so i disturbed cor and messaged her till my phone no bat haha. In church so unlucky, i was in the same group as the rachel tan.She's such a flirt can, i was so d@mn irritated...

I wanna cut my hair next week...gonna change my hair style but dunno if i'm gonna cut cos i'm very busy... dunno, must see first...i guess thats it.nothing much cos i was studying and sleeping the whole day haha...was supposed to spend the day with my grandpa's sister but she wasnt at home so i went home and study till i fell asleep haha....i guess thats it. till next time Later!
-56 faced death at 21:02

Friday, February 06, 2004
Today was very xian-ing... didnt learn anything much...during recess sent hy to the office with tong, adeline and gwen. When walking along the classrooms, i checked the time on my watch and i walked straight into the notice board. Pain can then hy still laugh... stayed at the general office till 10:42 then ting walked me up to class while adeline and gwen waited with her. When adeline walked into class 10 min late, she got credit from charoo can HAHA. charoo said "you know, adeline is strong enough to carry a sec 4 girl" HAHA

Left class at 12:45 after chinese class. The teacher was so d@mn boring can. she kept staring at me the whole lesson cos i wasn't paying attention. But how to pay attention when she's so boring?

Today took cab to NUS cos we were late for the match. We tied with St margs 22 all...the last quarter was the worst can. They were leading can till we caught up. At one time they were 2 goals up i was on the verge of tears can. If we lost the match then we had no chance of getting into the second round. If only we had 3 seconds more, just 3! and we would have won...if only the timers' reaction time was slower!!! I could tell that leslie really wanted to kill us in the first few quarters. If killing wasnt a crime, he would have done it. you could see the anger in his eyes and tone. Anyway, after the game, burke, xt, whit and i took a cab back to school. They had house practice and xt and i had to do the board. While waiting for xt to come back with the materials, i was sitting with serene and lily watching the bball training. It looks quite fun can, i also wanna try HAHA! Then borrowed scissors from agnes. I wrote on an A4 piece of paper "thank you agnes for your scissors" but i dunno if she understood my cursive handwriting and the pen also no ink haha.

Tmr very busy can. At 8 i got piano lessons (but i cant play properly haha) to about 09:30 then i'll go to lucky for my dental appointment at 10:00. After that come back home for maths tuition for about an hour plus. Then after that have to go back to school to do the council board. Tmr dinner maybe i make tomato soup if we're eating in. I cant cook so it'll be a good challenge =)

-56 faced death at 18:29

Thursday, February 05, 2004
Today i was feeling unwell in school today
wanted to go home but had the geog questions to do. In the morning i was so angry with like everyone cos i was sick. well, you can say mood swings. But after the geog lesson and during maths, i was feeling soo much better. After all, maths is my fav subject!

During recess i went to see hy abit later(@ 10:30) cos pau, ikan, fei and i had to discuss the chinese compo thing: the advantages and disadvantages of getting a nose job. Went went into 4B (3B class room) saw hy studying for the chinese test after school. She very 'xing ku' cos she had to memorise the chinese sentence.

Went home and did my homework. Waited for my piano teacher to call until i fell asleep from like 15:30
to 18:45. In the end, my piano teacher didnt come so i slept HAHA!

Oh yeah, i'm in chinese remedial...so sad...cos i failed the compo thats why...

Tong: i read your blog. Cool down k. If you need someone to talk to i'm always here k. When is the journey? must tell me the details k haha. you take care k. if your always so angry, you'll get wrinkles k
and your head might just explode so cool down k. Take care

"I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
& this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone & you're not discreet.
Make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again.
Theres not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it
"I'll love you always & forever"
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out
I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
Im cuddling close to blanket and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were ***SAFELY*** at home
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of Beast is taking me home.
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear."

Screaming Infidelities
Dashboard Confessional

-56 faced death at 14:58

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
heyy stacy tay su qing. cor here yuppy. haha im being lame now! hahs. anyway, just wanted ta invade into ure blog. hahs since i knw ure username and password plus im getting lamer each day goes by so yea. hahs no worries, ill invade more often kaee? //evil.laughs (: hahs. as for the book, im really sorry about the delay yeahh? hahs. but ill give ya back soon. and if you need a tutor for chinese, find ME! haaha. im sure ill teach ya the wrong stuff! wheee. hahs. well, guess tht's abt it. anyway, glad ta invade into ure blog. ya take caree and good luck for ure match on friday yupp? play hard kaee! -huggs (:
-56 faced death at 21:23

Today the lessons were REALLY boring...i had double maths(thats alright) but after that i had triple bio, TRIPLE! then recess then double chem, double ss, double physic(where i almost fell asleep) and finally, 1 english.

During recess, tong and i visited hy cos she couldnt go down for recess so she and spent the recess with her. She was like very sad, so tong and i cheered her up with our lame-ness. Hy, dont be so sad k, cheer up k

! Talked with her till like 10:40 then had to go down to the chem lab before yeo woei ter scold.

After school Mr Sng met up with the Isabel committe. He talked to us for like half an hour. By the time he was done, there was only time remaining to change. Through out the whole house practice, i was starving, famished! After that had training then came home...

Neng: The 3 of us(Fei, jeannette and me) wrote down our names liao but the paper got no more space so jeannette and i wrote it below. Only Fei's name is in the box cos she wrote her name early. Hopefully we'll get in k!

Hy: Heyhey, cheer up k, i'll always be here to cheer you up with my lameness :) Today i dont think i can go online cos tmr got 'ting xie'. Nvm, maybe tmr you can see my mega font again k! Take care.
-56 faced death at 18:31

Monday, February 02, 2004
Hey neng, thanks a lot for making this blog for me...as you know, i'm not good at this html stuff so yeah, thanks...

I'm so sad cos my sis left yesterday for an internship for 5 months...i wont be able to see her till July...I guess things wont be the same around the house...

On Friday(I think) I received this 'freaky' gift from someone whom I dunno...kk, someone passed it to alicia(in netball) then she passed it to pauline(3A) then she passed it to me...it was a montip plastic bag...Inside was this handphone accessory thing with my name on it and a blue furry flower.... I was so freaked out can, dunno who the thing is from...

Saturday with tong was fun...but tong, go cheer-up your junior, she looked sad.After my flag selling I met tong at clementi.then walked around with her junior till 4+ then she had to go for tuition. Then I walked with tong till 16:30 then we sat at Mc for a drink till she realized that she was supposed to be back in school at 16:30. So we rushed back to school where I waited for her at the school gate while she returned the tin. We went to tiong after that and ate a hotdog then she walked to my house but barely halfway to my house, she took a cab home...but it was fun...Tong, one day we should try the 'lai lai kitchen' k HAHAHA

Last night couldn't write an entry cos my other sis was using the com...so I watched Indiana Jones with my mom..it was so damn lame but very funny, so I ended up watching the whole show HAHAHA!

K, i think i should explain what 'valinor' means...In the Lord of The Rings, the elves were sailing away from the lands to Valinor which is, Elf heaven. So it means heaven on earth.

What if you were the only one left?
Then you would be all alone.
What if you were invisible?
Then no one would give a d@mn about you.
What if you were out of sight?
No one would even know you exist.
Have you ever thought what the world would be like without you?
There wouldn't be anything different cos you dont make a difference in the world.
-56 faced death at 09:23